To start this post off right, let me wish my Kiddo a Happy 6th Birthday!!! Can’t believe we’ve said goodbye to 5, such an amazing year. Saying hello to First Grade and all that it brings will be exciting. Bittersweet – all of it!
But last night, I had a dream. My dad passed away when I was 10. It was the single most devastating thing I’ve ever had to go through. I was crazy about him.
In my dream, people began to act really strangely toward me, and I felt like no one wanted me around. I kept gravitating toward my sister’s house, but she was nervous and distant. Then I saw a camper type vehicle in her driveway and decided to check it out.
What I discovered was that my dad was NOT dead, but had taken off and started some new identity. He’d remarried and had more children. He’d come back to visit with my sister, and for some really frightening reason, he and she had cleaned the living room walls of the house I grew up in with gasoline. I found both of them sleeping in the camper when I walked in there.
Everyone knew about my dad’s escape in my family except me. I’m losing chunks of the dream now, but that’s the gist of it.
Of course my dad died in 1976 at the age of 53, so he’d be 89 or so now, but he looked young and happy in the dream. He didn’t seem to have any apology for me with regard to putting me through the worst years of my life, and in the end I couldn’t forgive him.
He was an incredibly shy man who was crazy about my mom, so this makes zero sense to me. Anyone have any ideas?? Am I truly CRAZY?
How beautiful is this picture? Taken by Henrik Thorn and used via Flickr. Lovez it!
Thanks for listening to a crazy rant from an aging mama!
A ghost looking flower found in the forest.