Awww. He’s Sick. I Wanna Kill Him!

Joy joy

I’m flabbergasted. (And I can’t seem to get rid of that image of the happy birthday cake.  Pretend it says Happy Fucking New Year, okay?)

Hah hah! I’ve always wanted to use that word.

Now, I get sick on an average of 4 to 5 or even 6 times per year. I rang in the new year with a sinus/ear special infection, and have been recovering with the cursed antibiotics since.

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My husband, who proudly proclaims that he’s NEVER sick, is just that. Sick. He’s got bronchitis, and as soon as he got the Official Seal of Bronchitis, he’s taken to having a mantra of “I feel so sick” and then “oh my God”, and occasionally, “am I gonna die?” The final question has had a change in answer since yesterday. I now tell him “yes, yes you will. It’s up to you if it’s sooner or later”.

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Whining. Requesting all kinds of things. Being a total pain in the ass. Begging to have his temperature taken every 20 minutes.

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But I’m a Buddhist, and I’m working on my compassion. I’m trying, honestly. I have to wonder what the neighbors think as I walk from the sickbed (bedroom) to the kitchen saying something along the lines of “Okay honey. I’ll get you more water. And then I’ll dump it over your fucking head if you don’t stop telling me how shitty you feel and how to handle our daughter from your bed!!!!!”

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Do you know that yesterday was so bad that when my sister picked up Kiddo and I to go to Walmart, I was excited!!! I HATE Walmart with a passion!!!!

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Ah, and on the final bit. I am now sick. Ugh. I feel so sick. Oh my GOD! Am I gonna die??

🙂

So We’ve Been Dating For A Week…And I Got Your Face Inked On Me!

This is a Facebook exchange I found on Don’t Panic.  What I particularly love about this are words in the introduction – “some evidently unstable strumpet”.  It’s my favorite!

Would you get the face of the romantic love of your life tattooed on you?  I wouldn’t.  I always think the person in that role will wake up one day and go – what??? I’m stuck with YOU??  and walk out! LOL

This tattoo of Britney is pretty amazeballs, even though I can’t understand why someone would tattoo a young person having a huge breakdown, but whatever.  🙂

 

Click below for the tattoo, the reveal to the bf, the weird support of the friends and the ultimate ending!

Tattoo Much? | Don’t Panic Magazine | Arts.

Fanny Packs, Sporty Spice and Pukey Kids

 

I haven’t really had much time and/or energy to actually sit and write a post, so I’m going to try to do that now.

Italian Flag by Floris M. Oosterveld

First, I’d like to tell you about my Italian husband.  He has decided, after years of doing nothing, that he’s now a runner.  He went to Modell’s and bought sweat pants which were too long, so he chopped them down.  He purchased Nike sneakers and then of course couldn’t run until he installed the little chippy thing that tells you how much you’ve run.  Then, he asked me for a sweatshirt, which I gave him.  He was now entirely covered in blue.  He had to use my sparkly headphones for his iPod, so that kind of set a tone, you might say. 

He walked out of the house and across the street, and I was overcome by the desire to yell something out to him, encouraging him to do what he had to do.  So I said, “You GO Sporty Spice!  You GO GIRL”!!!!!  Well, I found it very funny.  He just ignored me.  And got into the car…

See, I thought he was going to run around our little suburban town, but instead he went…to the mall?  And was speedwalking??  Holy shit, I cannot tell you how much of a laugh that gave me. Oh!  And the best part!!  Before leaving the house, he asked me how he was supposed to carry his keys, iPod, cash, whatever.  I said “I don’t know.  Just don’t get a fanny pack”.  Yes, you guessed it! He went on a google quest to find a fanny pack, and ultimately went to (wait for it)   WALMART!!!! Ahahhahahhahahhah!!! He kept saying “what is this afanny park?”  I couldn’t breathe.  I felt like I was in an episode of Little Britain. 

Okay, so that was the fun part.  The not so fun part was that I had my billionth sinus infection/bronchitis two for one special last week and was stuck inside being cranky and coughy everyday.  I finally got out on Sunday, and it was magnificent!!!!  On Monday?  Not so much. Kiddo woke up and puked.  Then she puked again.  Here we are on Wednesday and the poor child is still pukey.  Spoke to the doc on Monday and brought her there today.  It’s working its way out of her system.  Tonight was the most animated I’ve seen her in days, and it was great.  She ate watermelon and was doing awesome, then puked again.  I’m keeping her home again tomorrow.  My poor baby. 

I think that’s all I have for you at the moment.  I hope you and your families are well AND happy.  Here’s a little fanny pack image for y’all.  Nope, the Italian remains unarmed and thankfully has not yet tried on Mom Jeans.