It Pisses Me Off To Be Pissed Off

Big fight with the spouse. I hate that word. Sounds like piss or something. Like a sproutie piss. Sorry. Cracking myself up here.

I don’t enjoy being angry. I try so hard not to go there, but sometimes people WANT to piss you off. That’s purely incomprehensible to me. I like it when people are sort of chill and happy. I try to nudge and prod people away from sadness or anger when it’s useless. I doubt I’m successful most of the time, but I have a plain way of speaking that is hard to misunderstand. My daughter said to me the other day “Mama, its like you love everybody. Except Puffy. You might even hate him.” And I realized that she’s right. Even about Puffy! When someone gets me so angry that I can’t ignore it, it starts to fester in an unhealthy way until I can get some peace with that person. I’ve always been bad at it, not knowing how or if I should act/speak on the anger. Then I find myself in awkward situations where I want to talk and laugh and listen to someone who I’m angry with, but I just get quiet. When and if they sense a change in me, I explain why I’m feeling pissy and usually it all gets to a semi happy ending.

I’m owed an apology, and I hope it comes soon. In the meantime, be good to each other. And tell me how it is for you to be pissed off!